K. Everyone who's cool is doing this now. It's all the rage.

Rules for the top 25:

1. Pick favorite quotes from sites you frequent
2. Provide no additional info.
3. Snicker at your cleverness!

1. CHEVROLET - Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques


2. Tengo ganas del pollo esta noche...


3. And apparently, it's not supposed to be easy to be a guy. or a Christian. or both. or something. I dunno.


4. Please don't take offence to anything I say as I'm usually making it all up as I go along anyway.


5. You can't spell "slaughter" without "laughter."


6. and yes, I do feel a little creepy seeing Christmas lights used to portray Jesus being flogged


7. He used "normal" in quotes because the committee is still deliberating on the normalcy of mathematicians.


8. They warned you the media industry was out to steal your soul!


9. Only users lose drugs.


10. The Appalachian vernacular is not unfamilar to me. Oinge is the color of a citrus fruit and what hunters wear so that they dont shoot each other. Worsh is something you do to make things clean, and the begining of the name of our nations capital or a west coast state. I also know that a crik is a body of water, a heel is a small raise in the landscape, and (my favorite) a faar is when something is burning. ! Any other words you want to try at me?!?!?!


11. Statistics prove that 50% of all people who get married on Easter are women.


12. Ever Wonder What the World Looks Like from the Inside of a Plastic Water Bottle? Me neither.


13. You're unique, just like everybody else.


14. ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness which, by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.


15. All your base are belong to us


16. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.


17. I just hope that Gabe can take some of this profound wisdom and keep his head out of the way of oncoming knees.


18. So maybe it wasn't so easy, or maybe people didn't study... All I know is it shouldn't make me this giddy to crush all those kids hopes and dreams.


19. 5 out of 4 people do not know their ratios correctly.


20. Acincrodg to rcsaeerh at an Elsignh unesivrity, it doesn't mteatr in waht oedrr the lerttes in a wrod are, the olny iamtnport tinhg is taht frist and lsat lteter is at the rghit pacle. The rset can be a tatol mses and you can slitl raed it woutiht pborlem. Tihs is bcuease we do not raed evrey letetr by it slef but the wrod as a wolhe.


21. The Top 100 Things I'd Do if I Ever Became an Evil Overlord


22. ...insert witty tagline here.


23. There are 10 kind of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those that don't.


24. The Answer to the Gun Control Debate


...and the top quote is!..


25. There. Now wasn't that productive?

3 comments

Of all the things to be pulled over twice in a year, no one would assume an expiration violation... the funny part is that both times were due to circumstances partly out of our control.

#1: We were on our way back to Frederick, MD from Hershey, PA after a rousing day at Hershey Park. Suddenly I see flashing lights. Long story short: The car we were driving was just purchased from my parents (I mean we bought it Sat. and left Sun. morning), and the inspection was out-of-date. I tried to explain the story in as pitiful a way as possible... but he wasn't buying.

Total damage: $85...

#2: Miriam returns home after a party... in a strange van. Apparently she had locked her keys in the trunk of her car so the party host allowed her to drive the van home. I then got to take the van back and pick up the car.

I was my normal paranoid self and was sticking to the Limit or under the whole way (about 20 minutes) Suddenly... flashing lights... ughhh... I explained the story of the locked up keys and asked politely why I was pulled over. He tells me that the registration was expired... and the inspection sticker was missing. All of that added up to a pretty penny in fines... Thankfully, this officer was very understanding and simply wrote a warning and a citation that could be written off assuming the vehicle was inspected and registered within the next 10 days. Best of all, no mark on my record!

Total damage (to me): $0

So I'm here to tell you, if you're driving someone else's vehicle and something is expired on it... the police WILL find you!

1 comments

I know how EVERYONE loves to watch movies of each other's kids. Well soon you'll have the opportunity to do it anytime! Coming soon to a website near you!... (the website you are currently visiting... unless you're using a feedreader to read this...) Gabe's home videos! (in the new VIDEOS section)

I've been putting this off because of the server space issues... but I figured "Why not?" If I run out of room, you'll gladly donate to the Gabe online video fund, right? Right?!

In the meantime, I've uploaded an amusing piece I found a while back. Watch while you can! (..cause it's coming down once I get the other vids ready. )

1 comments

This is just a minor update. I've added an Archive page that lists all the additions to the site ordered from the most recent to the very first post. It's another way to browse through the short history of IamWallaman.com. Go check it out if you are interested.

BTW, I'm working on some random Flash projects that I'll reveal any time now... assuming I actually complete them.

1 comments

Somehow I thought getting older would give me better sense. I guess not...

Last night was the typical Men's Fellowship meeting: Bible study and basketball... only we found a pigskin hidden deep within the kitchen (don't ask me why) so we decided on a little two-hand touch. All was well and things wrapped up around 9:15pm. We were starting to make our way out of the building when one of the guys issued a quick challenge to stop him on a punt return... via tackle. Now considering this was on a linolium surface it was hardly safe but nonetheless, we couldn't resist. From what I remember, it was his second attempt (I got him good the first time around ) I was on his beat and then, I guess, lunged into him and took a crack to the head by his knee. No one was sure if it was the knee or the floor that put me out but I was clearly gone for a few moments. Details from there are sketchy. I was kinda like a computer during a reboot.

After a trip to the ER and a CT scan, it turns out I got a minor concussion and now I get to deal with about 75-80% lucidity, nasty headaches and a sore jaw for at least the next few days.

In summary, I have relearned, the hard way, that despite how tough you think you may be... the court is made for basketball and football was meant to be played with helmets.

(P.S. Please excuse me if I mispelled anything or if I'm not making any sense. I'm still not all here. I'll have to do all my corrections in a couple days.)

5 comments